The Cosy Club in Cardiff was the chosen venue for my team Christmas meal. In my experience, this is usually a venue reserved for dates or for quiet, usually after-shopping, coffees or cocktails with friends; but not tonight.
I’d eaten here before, once. It was okay, nothing special. Yes, you can attach a tone that would suggest that I was disappointed that we had chosen this place over Miller & Carter, which sat, taunting me, just across the way.
The word cosy, to me, means being snug and comfortable, which is difficult to do when there are 9 of you occupying 4 tables, 6 seats and a small church bench. Yes there were cushions and lovely lampshades and cushions and some heat and some more cushions too. I’m sure cushions contribute to cosy, but they can’t be the main factor!
The burger offering was limited, but this should never be seen as a failing. I’ve eaten at a few places that have offered a limited burger choice and been delighted with them. Would Cosy Club be one of them? I had my fingers, and tastebuds, crossed.
My order consisted of The Hero Burger – 6oz hamburger, chorizo, mature cheddar, fried red onions, chimichurri, chipotle mayo and marinated chilli with skin-on fries (Make it truly heroic by adding an extra 6oz hamburger) Yes, I did it. Well, there was no point having a sidekick burger was there? I also opted for a side of onion rings too.
While I waited for my burger, I ordered myself a bottle of Brooklyn Lager (if you’re after a review of the lager, you’re in the wrong place!) and waited. We chatted about loads of different things, we exchanged witty banter and made comedic observations. The penultimate observation was that I was out of beer, which was followed by observing that there was still no food at the table, despite me drinking incredibly slowly.
The food did eventually arrive and the burger looked pretty good. But, like judging books by way of their covers, burgers can be equally deceptive! This burger would be judged on flavour!
The food was closer to hot than it was cold, but it had been waiting at the pass for a good few minutes I reckon. The toasted brioche bun had maintained its burnished colouring, but it’s heat had long gone.
The cheese had seen enough heat to melt it over the patties, which looked hand formed (I say this because they were different shapes and rough around the edges) and high meat content (if they had a greater fat content, the chef had either squeezed it out or the lamps had dried them out.) The bottom burger had a hint of pink in the centre, however it was dry on the edges. The top patty was dried through. The moisture for the burger came from the sauce, the fried onions and some of the juices from the chorizo that had responded to the mild warmth coming from the food below.
The Chimichurri Sauce and Chipotle mayo added a kick and some creaminess to a fairly lifeless burger. The chorizo (3 slices, stacked) sat in one block rather than being spread around the entire burger was tasty enough too, but I don’t really expect to have to build my own burger. The marinated chillies were sat on a bed of beetroot leaves and tasted like any other jalapenos you’ve ever had from a jar. I honestly couldn’t work out if the salad and chillies should be part of my burger or not. I opted for not.
The fries did the job for which they were destined. Unless part of the job is to soak up any residual burger juices, of which there was very little, and any that did exist went right into the thirsty brioche bun.
I think it would be fair to say that the reason for the night being a success was the company. The waiting staff were friendly and helpful too, but the product was the failure here.
I’m not sure which hero Cosy Club had in mind when they created their Hero Burger, but I’ve Googled Distinctly-AverageMan and found nothing. This burger gets a 2.5 out of 5, simply for being inoffensive. The only thing I won’t forget about this burger is that it was completely forgettable.